General Yuzuru Chat

[Xiupia]

Ahh… what Lae shared is so 

 

ah, the new Nishikawa commercial

 

[NEWS] 

 

we are really not stopping! 
 

 

[citrusjunos]

Sorry guys, this entire post is just going to be me trying to process this entire thing, and this is the only place I feel comfortable enough to do so.

 

Warning: Very long, meandering post full of salt, sugar, and spice. Skip if you want. (Also writing this at some insane hour, so please forgive the sleep-deprived errors and mess.)

Spoiler

It still feels so surreal, like I can't believe this actually happened. I stayed up late to watch the press con live, read everyone's comments here and on Twitter, seen all the tributes by other skaters, all the news articles...yet every once in a while, it'll hit me again that Yuzu's gone from competitive skating. This is it. This happened. This is real.

 

I think everything that could've been said has already been said, but I still feel this need to say something, because I already cried during the interviews, smiled at the photos, laughed at the shady comments, teared up at all the edits, fan art, and heartfelt messages by all the fanyus around the world yet somehow, I still feel...emotionally congested? As if I haven't gotten the release I'm seeking that'll allow me to be truly at peace with this. I've felt slivers of happiness knowing that Yuzu has made the right decision for himself, but the heaviness in my heart remains.

 

I don't quite know how to explain what I'm feeling, but perhaps it's because it's a mixture of everything.

 

Regrets that I will never see him compete in person and experience everything that comes with competition: watching open practice and him zooming across an Olympic-sized rink, his psycho lip syncing, being a part of a Pooh rain, the nerves and excitement while being in a chilly ice rink, meeting up with other fanyus and exchanging goodies, seeing him jump on the podium and receive medals, cheering/screaming my lungs out, and just bathing in the general atmosphere of a competition.

 

Regrets that I knew of him but didn't become his fan sooner. I wish I could've seen more of his happier moments, even if it wasn't in person. I wish I could've known him during the times he was genuinely happy to receive his scores. I wish I could've seen his rise into the legend that he is now. I wish I could've supported him more.

 

Anger. Anger towards the ISU, JSF (and to be honest, all the federations), two-faced, backstabbing individuals in the sport, and money-hungry opportunists in the media. I hate all of them. I'm not going to sugarcoat it. I look back at my fanyu experience and the main emotions I felt (aside from immense gratitude towards Yuzu) were a growing anger and hatred towards the governing bodies and individuals in this sport.

 

When I was a baby fanyu, everyone was saying that new fanyus were lucky not to have experienced the absolute injury/sickness hell Yuzu went through during the 2014-2018 cycle. Little did everyone know that those new fanyus, including me, will grow up during the next quad experiencing their own version of hell but without any of the competition highs to make up for it: no GPF gold, no Worlds gold, no Olympic gold, and no ratified 4A, and still the classic fanyu experience of watching him withdraw from competitions due to injury. Finally learning all the rules just to see him get underscored over and over and over and over and over again and his competitors inflated to high heavens. Waking up during ungodly hours in the morning just watch his face fall live in the Kiss and Cry, just to watch him put on fake smiles on the podium. Making a Twitter account just to follow translation accounts to read about his self-esteem crashing, his self-doubt growing, his belief that he was stagnating solidifying (thankfully that's no longer the case). (I'm not even touching the abuse and other shitty things in this sport unrelated to Yuzu getting robbed.)

 

To be honest, I don't really care as much about the medals; everyone knows Yuzu is loved for more than his accomplishments. Those things only hurt me so much because Yuzu himself cares greatly about competition. He loves getting gold medals, breaking records, improving himself, and getting rewarded for them. He's always been honest about how much those mean to him. How much he wants recognition for his efforts. And they took everything away. I hate all of them. They can go rot in bankruptcy and those Real Figure Skating Fans who take part in the gaslighting about scores and technique can take their empty stadiums back. They can have their version of "figure skating," their three PCS categories, and their jumping fests (ironically with mostly horrible technique). I'll take Yuzuru Hanyu's figure skating.

 

Sadness. It's the end of an era for figure skating and for an endeavor that Yuzu dedicated his entire life to thus far. It's bittersweet. I'm sad that he had to go through so much, that he had to suffer through so much mental, emotional, and physical pain. I'm sad that his final competition was Beijing, in an arena with very limited audience members and no Pooh rain. I'm sad that that was Rondo's only international outing.

 

Relief. I'm just so glad that Yuzu is finally free from the ISU and JSF and that he can keep all his earnings and say whatever he wants without fear of scoring retaliation. I'm relieved that I don't have to watch the next season, learn about the new rules, and watch them get broken anyway. I'm relieved that I no longer have to experience any of what I wrote above. I'm relieved that I no longer have to care about ISU's figure skating. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders that I didn't even know I was carrying.

 

Happiness and gratitude. Despite all the heartache and anger, I only decided to stay because Yuzu is so worth it. The happiness he brings with his skates, the courage he gives to those who watch him, the hope he inspires in everyone--these are all priceless. His skating and his words have saved me countless times. His bravery and integrity throughout his entire career--despite all the corruption, the untimely injuries, the seemingly insurmountable odds against him--have encouraged me to face my own challenges head on. It's an understatement to say that following Yuzu has made me into a better person. He's seriously changed my outlook in life. I'm still a work-in-progress, of course, but through him I've learned to take more risks, to believe in myself more, and to start to see adversity as opportunity. For that, I couldn't be more grateful.

 

In addition, his skating has a healing quality that I can't explain. Ballade, Notte Stellata, Haru yo Koi, Hana wa Saku, Requiem, and Hope and Legacy are some of the programs I frequently watch when I'm in turmoil and want to feel at peace. Isn't that what makes something art? His skating has the power to elicit emotions or to quiet them, to draw reactions or to leave them in captivated silence. Watching him skate is an experience, and I'm truly grateful to have discovered Yuzuru Hanyu's skating.

 

Pride. Looking back on his competitive career--how could you not feel proud? He's weathered everything this sport and life could throw at him and still left it as the GOAT, the most decorated male skater of his era, with all the accolades and triumphs other skaters could only dream of. He's inspired so many young skaters, he's permanently carved his name in figure skating history, he will leave a giant hole in the sport and ISU/JSF's wallets that no one could ever fill. But most importantly, I'm proud that he never strayed from his values, that he remained the kind, humble, ambitious, gracious, stubborn, and tenacious person that he is, and that he stayed true to his skating ideals and never exchanged them for medals they wouldn't have given him anyway. There are plenty of GOATs in other sports, but rarely are they able to stop success from changing them negatively as people. Especially with everything Yuzu has gone through, I am just in complete awe of the way he conducts himself and treats others, and his ability to bounce back from any hardship.

 

Hope and excitement. Seeing Yuzu smile from his heart during his press conference, free from the shackles that have held him down, makes me so excited for the future he envisions. I'm hopeful that he will make his ice shows and future projects more accessible to international fans. I'm excited to see what sort of programs he comes up with now that he isn't bound by the rules. I'm excited to see his progress on the 4A and see him incorporate and improve his dancing (though seriously, Zu, get a private teacher). I'm excited to see him continue his journey towards his ideal figure skating. I'm excited to see him thrive and to get the recognition that he deserves. I am excited to support him in this new phase of his career, to see him continue to evolve as an artistic athlete, and to keep pushing figure skating's boundaries.

 

Ultimately, I'm just happy if Yuzu's happy. He seems at peace with his decision and he's looking towards the future, so that's what I eventually want to do, too. To not wallow in the past and the what ifs and the things that can't be changed, because the future's so bright that you just can't miss it. I'll forever treasure the happy moments that he's shared with us as a competitive skater, but I'm also thankful to be here at the start of Yuzuru Hanyu's journey, the professional athlete.

 

[Charlène]

10 hours ago, rockstaryuzu said:

J'ai lu les messages de tout le monde et je veux dire ceci:

 

Nous semblons tous ressentir un sentiment de perte qui va au-delà de ne pas revoir Yuzu concourir. La pluie de l'ourson, la file d'attente sauvage pour une bonne place dans les premières pratiques, la rencontre d'autres fanyus, le voyage... mes chers compagnons satellites de la planète Hanyu, nous avons vécu des expériences collectives incroyables et joyeuses grâce à l'observation de Yuzu, que nous n'aurons probablement jamais avoir une chance de vivre à nouveau. C'est normal de faire le deuil. Non seulement nous perdons nos expériences de compétition Yuzu, mais dans un sens, nous pourrions également nous perdre.

 

Ne laissons pas cela se produire. Promisons-nous de maintenir l'esprit PH et de nous retrouver lors de compétitions ou de spectacles sur glace ou partout où nous le pouvons. Notre petite communauté est quelque chose de charmant, et sans Yuzu, nous ne l'aurions pas, alors accrochons-nous. 

 

Personnellement, j'attends avec impatience la première fois que nous pourrons organiser une rencontre satellite PH liée à un spectacle sur glace. Parce que Yuzu vaut toujours le déplacement.

I feel the same thing, your words are so kind🤧, I love them🙏❤

[Perelandra]

3 hours ago, meowmeownyan said:

 

looks like Sheffield may have run off after the clash in venue. Good for them 

The ISU President could not persuade Korea to act as CoC replacement host, the reason was cited as that it is very expensive for the host and is not likely to be financially viable. Clearly the ISU President struggles to have any demonstrable power or persuasion in his own country. 

Maybe Sheffield would be in the same predicament, especially if the larger venue cannot be secured, although without Yuzu attending, the smaller arena might suffice. Less tickets, less broadcast rights and less sponsors do not make for a lucrative undertaking. 

What a mess

 

edit:grammar

[Sun_Rise]

These are the days of fanyu listening to interviews & statements not understanding anything, but rewatching anyway. Seems like this one hasn't been posted yet. 

 

This post has been tagged by yuzuangel as [NEWS].

[Yuzuwinnie]

9 minutes ago, Charlène said:

Je ressens la même chose, tes mots sont si gentils 🤧 , je les aime 🙏 ❤

 

 et Yuzu est et restera à jamais un  

[gapil27]

21 minutes ago, citrusjunos said:

Sorry guys, this entire post is just going to be me trying to process this entire thing, and this is the only place I feel comfortable enough to do so.

 

Warning: Very long, meandering post full of salt, sugar, and spice. Skip if you want. (Also writing this at some insane hour, so please forgive the sleep-deprived errors and mess.)

  Reveal hidden contents

It still feels so surreal, like I can't believe this actually happened. I stayed up late to watch the press con live, read everyone's comments here and on Twitter, seen all the tributes by other skaters, all the news articles...yet every once in a while, it'll hit me again that Yuzu's gone from competitive skating. This is it. This happened. This is real.

 

I think everything that could've been said has already been said, but I still feel this need to say something, because I already cried during the interviews, smiled at the photos, laughed at the shady comments, teared up at all the edits, fan art, and heartfelt messages by all the fanyus around the world yet somehow, I still feel...emotionally congested? As if I haven't gotten the release I'm seeking that'll allow me to be truly at peace with this. I've felt slivers of happiness knowing that Yuzu has made the right decision for himself, but the heaviness in my heart remains.

 

I don't quite know how to explain what I'm feeling, but perhaps it's because it's a mixture of everything.

 

Regrets that I will never see him compete in person and experience everything that comes with competition: watching open practice and him zooming across an Olympic-sized rink, his psycho lip syncing, being a part of a Pooh rain, the nerves and excitement while being in a chilly ice rink, meeting up with other fanyus and exchanging goodies, seeing him jump on the podium and receive medals, cheering/screaming my lungs out, and just bathing in the general atmosphere of a competition.

 

Regrets that I knew of him but didn't become his fan sooner. I wish I could've seen more of his happier moments, even if it wasn't in person. I wish I could've known him during the times he was genuinely happy to receive his scores. I wish I could've seen his rise into the legend that he is now. I wish I could've supported him more.

 

Anger. Anger towards the ISU, JSF (and to be honest, all the federations), two-faced, backstabbing individuals in the sport, and money-hungry opportunists in the media. I hate all of them. I'm not going to sugarcoat it. I look back at my fanyu experience and the main emotions I felt (aside from immense gratitude towards Yuzu) were a growing anger and hatred towards the governing bodies and individuals in this sport.

 

When I was a baby fanyu, everyone was saying that new fanyus were lucky not to have experienced the absolute injury/sickness hell Yuzu went through during the 2014-2018 cycle. Little did everyone know that those new fanyus, including me, will grow up during the next quad experiencing their own version of hell but without any of the competition highs to make up for it: no GPF gold, no Worlds gold, no Olympic gold, and no ratified 4A, and still the classic fanyu experience of watching him withdraw from competitions due to injury. Finally learning all the rules just to see him get underscored over and over and over and over and over again and his competitors inflated to high heavens. Waking up during ungodly hours in the morning just watch his face fall live in the Kiss and Cry, just to watch him put on fake smiles on the podium. Making a Twitter account just to follow translation accounts to read about his self-esteem crashing, his self-doubt growing, his belief that he was stagnating solidifying (thankfully that's no longer the case). (I'm not even touching the abuse and other shitty things in this sport unrelated to Yuzu getting robbed.)

 

To be honest, I don't really care as much about the medals; everyone knows Yuzu is loved for more than his accomplishments. Those things only hurt me so much because Yuzu himself cares greatly about competition. He loves getting gold medals, breaking records, improving himself, and getting rewarded for them. He's always been honest about how much those mean to him. How much he wants recognition for his efforts. And they took everything away. I hate all of them. They can go rot in bankruptcy and those Real Figure Skating Fans who take part in the gaslighting about scores and technique can take their empty stadiums back. They can have their version of "figure skating," their three PCS categories, and their jumping fests (ironically with mostly horrible technique). I'll take Yuzuru Hanyu's figure skating.

 

Sadness. It's the end of an era for figure skating and for an endeavor that Yuzu dedicated his entire life to thus far. It's bittersweet. I'm sad that he had to go through so much, that he had to suffer through so much mental, emotional, and physical pain. I'm sad that his final competition was Beijing, in an arena with very limited audience members and no Pooh rain. I'm sad that that was Rondo's only international outing.

 

Relief. I'm just so glad that Yuzu is finally free from the ISU and JSF and that he can keep all his earnings and say whatever he wants without fear of scoring retaliation. I'm relieved that I don't have to watch the next season, learn about the new rules, and watch them get broken anyway. I'm relieved that I no longer have to experience any of what I wrote above. I'm relieved that I no longer have to care about ISU's figure skating. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders that I didn't even know I was carrying.

 

Happiness and gratitude. Despite all the heartache and anger, I only decided to stay because Yuzu is so worth it. The happiness he brings with his skates, the courage he gives to those who watch him, the hope he inspires in everyone--these are all priceless. His skating and his words have saved me countless times. His bravery and integrity throughout his entire career--despite all the corruption, the untimely injuries, the seemingly insurmountable odds against him--have encouraged me to face my own challenges head on. It's an understatement to say that following Yuzu has made me into a better person. He's seriously changed my outlook in life. I'm still a work-in-progress, of course, but through him I've learned to take more risks, to believe in myself more, and to start to see adversity as opportunity. For that, I couldn't be more grateful.

 

In addition, his skating has a healing quality that I can't explain. Ballade, Notte Stellata, Haru yo Koi, Hana wa Saku, Requiem, and Hope and Legacy are some of the programs I frequently watch when I'm in turmoil and want to feel at peace. Isn't that what makes something art? His skating has the power to elicit emotions or to quiet them, to draw reactions or to leave them in captivated silence. Watching him skate is an experience, and I'm truly grateful to have discovered Yuzuru Hanyu's skating.

 

Pride. Looking back on his competitive career--how could you not feel proud? He's weathered everything this sport and life could throw at him and still left it as the GOAT, the most decorated male skater of his era, with all the accolades and triumphs other skaters could only dream of. He's inspired so many young skaters, he's permanently carved his name in figure skating history, he will leave a giant hole in the sport and ISU/JSF's wallets that no one could ever fill. But most importantly, I'm proud that he never strayed from his values, that he remained the kind, humble, ambitious, gracious, stubborn, and tenacious person that he is, and that he stayed true to his skating ideals and never exchanged them for medals they wouldn't have given him anyway. There are plenty of GOATs in other sports, but rarely are they able to stop success from changing them negatively as people. Especially with everything Yuzu has gone through, I am just in complete awe of the way he conducts himself and treats others, and his ability to bounce back from any hardship.

 

Hope and excitement. Seeing Yuzu smile from his heart during his press conference, free from the shackles that have held him down, makes me so excited for the future he envisions. I'm hopeful that he will make his ice shows and future projects more accessible to international fans. I'm excited to see what sort of programs he comes up with now that he isn't bound by the rules. I'm excited to see his progress on the 4A and see him incorporate and improve his dancing (though seriously, Zu, get a private teacher). I'm excited to see him continue his journey towards his ideal figure skating. I'm excited to see him thrive and to get the recognition that he deserves. I am excited to support him in this new phase of his career, to see him continue to evolve as an artistic athlete, and to keep pushing figure skating's boundaries.

 

Ultimately, I'm just happy if Yuzu's happy. He seems at peace with his decision and he's looking towards the future, so that's what I eventually want to do, too. To not wallow in the past and the what ifs and the things that can't be changed, because the future's so bright that you just can't miss it. I'll forever treasure the happy moments that he's shared with us as a competitive skater, but I'm also thankful to be here at the start of Yuzuru Hanyu's journey, the professional athlete.

 

Same here. Thank you for this. You articulated my feelings really well. The tears are finally flowing. I’m really really okay with his decision, I’ll support him regardless.
 

But I regret very much I didn’t know him sooner, and the fact that he didn’t have a proper send off from us. Poetic really, to think that he starts without a pooh rain, and he left without one…

 

 

[lajoitko]

25 minutes ago, shina07 said:

I thought I was done crying 😭 I really wish Yuzu can read all these messages and stories of people he has inspired 

 

Spoiler

Reading this made me cry because I remembered my own story. I lost my mother few weeks before PC. At the time I was grieving and wondering if I could ever again laugh a real laugh. Then Yuzu arrived at the airport with his ill-fitting suit and suddenly I was giggling. Thanks to Yuzu and his too short suit sleeves I could laugh again. Yesterday someone was asking about our dearest memory of him. It probably should be something related to skating, but truthfully this is mine.

 

[TallyT]

 

This post has been tagged by yuzuangel as [NEWS].

[SuzyQ]

TV Asahi will broadcast a special program of Yuzuru on 23rd (6:56 - 8:54 PM)

 

https://post.tv-asahi.co.jp/post-191363/

https://news.yahoo.co.jp/articles/f4f8a016983cfba1b166ef59408b9c093cff6202

https://news.yahoo.co.jp/articles/02e6b0013215721acaeaa57bdba2b6e2e4e2ffc9

 

Yuzuru with Shuzo Matsuoka, Shizuka Arakawa and Nobunari Oda

 

This post has been tagged by yuzuangel as [NEWS].

[Skrimblo_iced]

it would be funny (and very yuzuru) if he did end up going to milan on short notice, but that's for the future and i will gladly wait until then, watching what yuzuru has to offer in these next couple of years 

[Sombreuil]

I wonder whether the Japanese tv companies will air some of the unused footage they are rumoured to have been sitting on for years?

[citrusjunos]

18 minutes ago, gapil27 said:

Same here. Thank you for this. You articulated my feelings really well. The tears are finally flowing. I’m really really okay with his decision, I’ll support him regardless.
 

But I regret very much I didn’t know him sooner, and the fact that he didn’t have a proper send off from us. Poetic really, to think that he starts without a pooh rain, and he left without one…

 

 

I'm glad my words could help you process your feelings as well  And yes, I think the regrets will always be there, even for me. But although he didn't have a Pooh rain, I'm happy that he felt the entire world's love and support during that difficult time and that he realized that our devotion is deeper than points and medals. So while he did start without a Pooh rain and leave without one, I'd like to think of it as, he left with the hearts of millions of fans who will now follow him into his next journey, wherever he decides to take us 

 

[Sun_Rise]

4 minutes ago, citrusjunos said:

I'm happy that he felt the entire world's love and support during that difficult time and that he realized that our devotion is deeper than points and medals. So while he did start without a Pooh rain and leave without one, I'd like to think of it as, he left with the hearts of millions of fans who will now follow him into his next journey, wherever he decides to take us 

 

 

He said: "Truthfully, I didn't plan to go to the Beijing Olympics at all. I wanted to land the 4A asap and end it. But the fact that I went to Beijing like that, challenged it, failed, couldn't get it & went unrewarded and, even so, was supported and there were many people who felt something from seeing that version of me is still saving me even now. From here on out, I still want to work hard and run together with everyone, aiming for my dream". 

 

 

@citrusjunosI love your long posts. This one brought in some very needed healing. All the parts. 

 

This post has been tagged by yuzuangel as [NEWS].

[Yuzu_legend]

 

 

This post has been tagged by yuzuangel as [NEWS].