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A right foot and me: My road to the GPF

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Hey guys. I've been feeling down since yesterday after the finalization of Yuzu's withdraw. To let go of my feelings of sadness, disappointment, anxious, even anger, I wrote this. I want to share it with you and hope this makes you feel better too.


English is not my first language so sorry about the mistakes if I made any.




I've never thought that I would be emotionally attached to a right foot.



Ever since I laid my eyes on him during the figure skating competition in the Pyeongchang Olympics, I became a fan of Yuzuru Hanyu. To see him live became one of my biggest dreams, so I bought my first figure skating tickets, the Grand Prix Final.


It was March; the competition is in December.


As impatient as I am, I hadn't waited for anything for nine months besides being pregnant with my babies. But this time I was patient. I waited happily and hopefully--like waiting to see my newborn baby-- to see Yuzuru.


During this period, I met a bunch of people, we became friends and planned to meet. I upgraded my seats from the 19th row to Kiss and Cry. I arranged to share an ocean view house with a few girls. I applied for the absence from my husband and children. I filled my car with gas.


I was ready, for the wonderful skating feast in Vancouver.





And all the sudden...


On November 17th, The morning practice of the Freeskating competition in Russia, Yuzuru fell. Hard. Twisted his right ankle.


I went to bed with a heavy heart that night.





Although he attended the free skate competition that evening and won the gold medal, we could all tell that he wasn't fully himself. Then it's the victory ceremony, he showed up in his sneakers, with a pair of crutches... 



My rationality was telling me: It's the right foot ligament injury, again. He will need a long time to recover. There are only three weeks left till the final. He won't make it.


My emotion was telling me: Don't give up yet! Maybe it's not as bad as it looked? Maybe it will heal quickly? Maybe he won't quit?...


The internet was mourning. People were changing their plans, selling the tickets, I choose to bury my head in the sand like a timid stupid ostrich. 



I mean, seriously. For someone who can skate so beautifully, jump quads easier than me getting out of the bed in the morning, it's unfortunate to process such a fragile foot.


It's just as regrettable as for a talented artist like me,  infected with the cancer of laziness and procrastination. Pity. Unfairness. Loss.




Yesterday, it came the final judgment.


Yuzuru Hanyu officially withdrew from the Grand Prix Final.


I thought I was prepared. I was NOT. When I read this news on my phone, it's like someone hit the back of my heat with a baseball bat.


The colorful bubbles of hope surrounded me exploded. The world turned gray.








I was barely functional during the day. When evening came, I couldn't contain myself any longer. I took out the family size bag of crispy puffs, sat in front of my computer and started eating.


My husband was in contempt towards my "childish obsession" to Yuzuru. But seeing me upset like this, he tried to comfort me: Let's go get some ice cream or have some dessert in your favorite restaurant.


Me: No.


Husband: But you will feel sick if you eat the whole bag of crispy puffs.


Me: I know.


Husband: At least ice cream is yummier and healthier.


Me: No. Going out sounds like too much fun.


Husband: What?


Me: I don't want fun, I want to SUFFER! The PAIN and MISERY of being alone, huddling up in front of my computer and stuff myself with the cheap, dry, boring junk food are what I want, what I NEED at this moment.


Husband: ... You are weird.


Me: You don't understand.


I succeeded. I ate the whole bag of crispy puffs and felt sick and sentimental. I threw myself in bed without just a heavy heart, but a full stomach.









The next day, I could finally go on StubHub and try to list my tickets for sale. The precious tickets I worked hard for, the golden eggs everyone wanted before Yuzu's injury, had become dog shit overnight. Half price, 60% off, 90% off... People are fleeing the market like the stadium is burning down.


I just wanted to watch a competition, why it's like trading bitcoin?


But compare with my friends, my a few hundred dollars is nothing. Many of them lost the cost of their plane tickets, hotels, Visas... When I'm feeling sorry for myself, I just think about them and ... I feel worse.


This is what I've been through these past a few days. As sad as it was, time gets by and I will move on. After all, I need to summon my strength and fight another battle: The World Championship! 






This article is dedicated to all my friends who had experienced this emotional ride with me these days, and Yuzeru's right foot.


Best wished to you all, and hope we will meet one day!





By messycow



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You have an amazing and expressive art style! I'm glad you have an outlet for your frustrations and thank you for sharing it here (I think a lot of people feel the same way). Don't give up hope! :10742289:

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:10742289: virtual hugs to you! It's such a sad position to have GPF tickets, know that he's qualified but can't go because of an injury ;A;


Your art style is so cute and fun though! I enjoyed reading it!

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It is as frustrating as last Worlds where he wd too. But i cant help laughing at your arts, it's HILARIOUS loll. Hope other fans who had to give up the tickets can be delighted too

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Marvellous bit of writing and very funny art work.  I do know how you feel.  I finally got to see Yuzu on the third time of trying.  Milan all booked and he pulled out due to injury two weeks beforehand.  France booked on a rumour and he wasn't allocated.  Still went to both and had a fabulous time.  Finally the joy of Helsinki.  So special for me.  Your special time will come.  He'll be back. ❤️

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Thank you for your art, it's very cute and funny ^^ I hope you get WC tickets even though it's sure to be a bloodbath :tumblr_inline_n18qr5AMus1qid2nw:

(fyi the images that aren't linked from imgur aren't embedding :tumblr_inline_n2pjcykAXc1qdlkyg:, i think it will only embed if the link has a .jpg or .png on the end of it)

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I feel the same way, Wonn (your pictures are exactly how I am feeling!!).  I've been looking forward to seeing him in person since I bought the tickets in February, and now....  I'll still go to GPF, but it just won't be what I was hoping for.  I don't have a lot of spare cash, so flying somewhere to see him will probably be out of reach for now.  That's why I was ecstatic that he was going to be coming to a place only a few hours away from me.  I should have known it was too good to be true!!! :64341262:


Now I'm trying to figure out where I could possibly see him compete live, and I've got no clue.  He'll probably be at Worlds in March, right?  But that's an expensive plane flight away and I'm sure all the tickets for that have been snatched up.  Will I have to wait until next season?  Ugh, it's so tragic, his season was shaping up to be another 2014-2015 record-breaker, and I wanted to be there for it.  :64341262:


I also really wanted to see Otonal live...... :64341262:


Crying bunnies everywhere! :64341262:

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Thank you for this. This made my day 😊


Reminded me a bit of myself during Worlds in Milan. Although my level of frustration wasn't quite as high. I guess bec Yuzu just won his 2nd Olys gold, not even the reality of not seeing him at Worlds that time, despite all the money I'd already spent, could bring me down to the depths of despair and frustration 😅 I imagine if it happened to me at this time though 🤪


Your writing and art are wonderful. Would love to read more (and maybe about happier topics next time, like when you finally see Zuzu! ☺️

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Thanks for reading! We share a lot of similar feelings at the moment and you are welcome to vent here. :dontdothistome:


I'm lucky that I didn't buy a plane ticket ( I was going to drive), but still. Just imagine if things went like planned, we would be seeing him in a few days! How wonderful was that and how unfortunate it is now!:dpooh:


After a lot of battles, I decided to still go. I want this trip to be happy. I will meet a lot of friends and eat and skate, forget about this tragedy and move on. The lost made me want to see his competition even more. I'm joining the raffles of World Champion tickets which are a pain in the ass. But I will keep trying. 


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Autumn Classic 2019 maybe?? I know I'll be buying tickets the moment they go on sale, then wait and wait and wait to hear if he's going. But at least the tickets are SO cheap, it's not much of a loss if he doesn't go!

I loved your post, I too had GPF tickets but I'm fortunate to have seen him live a few times already (I won't say specifically how many, really it's embarrassing how fortunate I have been, but greedily I still hope for more opportunities!). I hope you enjoyed the competition in Vancouver and better luck next time!


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