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I am engaged in folding 1000 cranes for a close family members wedding venue - the cat feels it is his duty to lie all over the paper etc.  Sent a photo to my children- one described it as his ‘signature move’ 🐾

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4 hours ago, Sombreuil said:

I am engaged in folding 1000 cranes for a close family members wedding venue - the cat feels it is his duty to lie all over the paper etc.  Sent a photo to my children- one described it as his ‘signature move’ 🐾

I remember my niece studying for an exam and my cat laying all over her notebooks and trying to get on her laptop lol.

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Exactly!  When my children used to revise together at the dining room table the cat would sprawl all over their notes, books, laptops, and once he’d annoyed one person thoroughly he’d move on to the next.

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A kitten and animal photographer Mitsuaki Iwago

 

ETA: You can see what he was filming in this video (from 01:26)

 

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Sorry if this is not the place to ask this but since cat owners seem to be frequenting this thread, I thought I may get some help here. My problem is our cat hates the new cat and nothing we do seems to be helping. 

 

For some context, cat 1 is our first pet ever and adopting her was an accident. We found her abandoned two years ago when she was only a couple of weeks old. Initially we just wanted to save her life but everyone fell in love with her and she stayed. The thing is, as our first and only pet we may have spoiled her. She also didn't have any experience with other cats or animals in general. So when cat 2 came into the picture, she reacted very badly.

Cat 2 is a street cat that came to our house as a small kitten. She was sick and malnourished so we took her to a vet and gave her food. We didn't want to keep her because cat 1 hated it but after she got sick again just a month later and a third time shortly after we realised that the poor thing would die if she remained outside so we took her in. We did try to find her another home early on but no one wanted a street cat with a lame leg and health issues.

 

So, now we have both in the house and it is a stressful situation for everyone (except for cat 2 who doesn't seem to be bothered much). Cat 1 was and still is is very scared of the other cat and decided to migrate to the third floor of our house (aka my room), she very rarely goes down anymore. She avoids cat 2 like the plague and when they do meet they start hissing at each other and they had few physical altercations as well. Cat 2, as I said before is not really bothered and she did try to approach cat 1 few times to play but was met with hostility so she gave up and now mostly ignores her. Cat 1 on the other hand refuses to even be in the same room unless forced to. She also became very aggressive not just with the other cat but with us as well and I have the scars to prove it. We tried everything to get her to relax and accept the other cat but she just won't budge. we were told that it is a matter of time and she will eventually accept it but it has been months and too many wounds and broken things, and she still shows no signs of changing her mind. Any advice on what to do? This is getting really annoying and I don't want the cats to be stressed all time or get hurt. Love both very much but I am not sure they can live together and I don't want to lose either  :sad4:

 

And since I have to :biggrin:, here are our two cuties cat 1 Marmar

DXJWIM8.jpg

 

and cat 2 Mini 

6A2bSLD.jpg

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@Neenah

I have never lived with multiple cats at once, so I am not able to give you any advice, but it seems very common for an old cat to react that way when you adopt a new one much later, like, after she/he becomes an adult.  My landlady's oldest cat also didn't like the new cats and seemed to be avoiding them. When he was the only cat in the family he almost always greeted the visitors himself but when he saw the landlady introducing me one of the new cats (male) he looked quite shocked and it took about a year for me to see him again after that. It seems that cats are very territorial and the battle over territory tends to get fierce when the two are of the same sex. So maybe each of your cats needs their own space apart from each other (at least for a while). I heard that it is better to prioritize the old one at first, for example, when you give them food, give it to the old one first, etc. to not to make her/him feel insecure. If you can make her/him believe that living with the new cat doesn't threaten her/his life or vested interests, she/he will get calmer, maybe?

Hope they will find a way to get along with each other. They are both so cute!

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4 hours ago, sweetwater said:

@Neenah

I have never lived with multiple cats at once, so I am not able to give you any advice, but it seems very common for an old cat to react that way when you adopt a new one much later, like, after she/he becomes an adult.  My landlady's oldest cat also didn't like the new cats and seemed to be avoiding them. When he was the only cat in the family he almost always greeted the visitors himself but when he saw the landlady introducing me one of the new cats (male) he looked quite shocked and it took about a year for me to see him again after that. It seems that cats are very territorial and the battle over territory tends to get fierce when the two are of the same sex. So maybe each of your cats needs their own space apart from each other (at least for a while). I heard that it is better to prioritize the old one at first, for example, when you give them food, give it to the old one first, etc. to not to make her/him feel insecure. If you can make her/him believe that living with the new cat doesn't threaten her/his life or vested interests, she/he will get calmer, maybe?

Hope they will find a way to get along with each other. They are both so cute!

We did try all that but the first cat is very stubborn and apparently a cowered. It is weird watching her run away and hide when a kitten half her size approaches her  :facepalm:

 

The problem is that we get a lot of contradicting information on this topic which is why I asked for advice. Some people told us it is normal and they will get over it in time while others said it's a lost cause. I am worried about our first cat because she is isolating herself and looks very stressed. I wish I could help her relax just a bit. We really only want her to coexist with the new cat, she doesn't have to like her or play with her. Even she ignoring her all the time would be a great outcome 

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On 7/15/2019 at 10:06 PM, Neenah said:

We did try all that but the first cat is very stubborn and apparently a cowered. It is weird watching her run away and hide when a kitten half her size approaches her  :facepalm:

 

The problem is that we get a lot of contradicting information on this topic which is why I asked for advice. Some people told us it is normal and they will get over it in time while others said it's a lost cause. I am worried about our first cat because she is isolating herself and looks very stressed. I wish I could help her relax just a bit. We really only want her to coexist with the new cat, she doesn't have to like her or play with her. Even she ignoring her all the time would be a great outcome 

 

I don't know if it will work with cats but have you tried taking cat 1 and cat 2 to a neutral place and giving cat 1 lots of treats whenever cat 2 comes within sight? Or getting cat 2 used to a carrier box and then putting cat 2 in a carrier box and bringing cat 1 into the room and giving cat 1 lots of treats? I haven't had trouble with cats getting along, only dogs, and this is what worked for dogs. Sounds like cat 1 is really not used to other cats so a very slow introduction of cat 2 to cat 1 while creating very strong positive association might work. Of course, cats are generally much smarter than dogs with schedules and figuring out cause and effect, so if it works, expect cat 1 to come to you and demand treats any time it sees cat 2. I do have one dog who is really a lot like a skittish cat, I tell people to treat her like a cat and not a dog if they want to stand a chance of gaining her favour, and this is how I've got her to get along with other dogs. It's not the same but if you've tried everything else, you could give it a go.

 

There's also this thing called Rescue Remedy by Bach. It doesn't work on all animals but it might help to ease things along? Or talk to a vet about anxiety remedies for cats, there are lots of them. Cat 1's instincts might be okay if it can get past the stress of it all. If all the treats and positive reinforcement and time won't do it, maybe cat 1 needs a little extra help. 

 

Don't give up hope, though. My catdog HATED our second dog, so much. We actually put up a literal barrier in the middle of the house to keep them apart because the second dog hates being left alone and scratches doors. I lived in a room with her for about two months trying different ways to get them to stop hating each other. Finally one day we put them both on leashes and took them up to the roof and gave them both cheese. All other combinations of tricks and treats failed but on the terrace with cheese? That worked, like a miracle. And these were two dogs that had a history of hating each other well before we took them both in because circumstances. So there's still hope your cats will get along, just need to find the right trick and treat.

 

OT: Can't believe nobody's brought the new Cats trailer here. :P 

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29 minutes ago, WinForPooh said:

 

I don't know if it will work with cats but have you tried taking cat 1 and cat 2 to a neutral place and giving cat 1 lots of treats whenever cat 2 comes within sight? Or getting cat 2 used to a carrier box and then putting cat 2 in a carrier box and bringing cat 1 into the room and giving cat 1 lots of treats? I haven't had trouble with cats getting along, only dogs, and this is what worked for dogs. Sounds like cat 1 is really not used to other cats so a very slow introduction of cat 2 to cat 1 while creating very strong positive association might work. Of course, cats are generally much smarter than dogs with schedules and figuring out cause and effect, so if it works, expect cat 1 to come to you and demand treats any time it sees cat 2. I do have one dog who is really a lot like a skittish cat, I tell people to treat her like a cat and not a dog if they want to stand a chance of gaining her favour, and this is how I've got her to get along with other dogs. It's not the same but if you've tried everything else, you could give it a go.

 

There's also this thing called Rescue Remedy by Bach. It doesn't work on all animals but it might help to ease things along? Or talk to a vet about anxiety remedies for cats, there are lots of them. Cat 1's instincts might be okay if it can get past the stress of it all. If all the treats and positive reinforcement and time won't do it, maybe cat 1 needs a little extra help. 

 

Don't give up hope, though. My catdog HATED our second dog, so much. We actually put up a literal barrier in the middle of the house to keep them apart because the second dog hates being left alone and scratches doors. I lived in a room with her for about two months trying different ways to get them to stop hating each other. Finally one day we put them both on leashes and took them up to the roof and gave them both cheese. All other combinations of tricks and treats failed but on the terrace with cheese? That worked, like a miracle. And these were two dogs that had a history of hating each other well before we took them both in because circumstances. So there's still hope your cats will get along, just need to find the right trick and treat.

 

OT: Can't believe nobody's brought the new Cats trailer here. :P 

We are trying something similar to your suggestion but I don't know if it is really working since we had a huge cat fight last night. But I do think that cat 1 might be coming around a bit. She has been seen venturing out of her hiding spot few times in the past week, which is a huge improvement from her disappearing act from before. Though cat 2 seems to have finally realised that cat 1 is afraid of her so she decided that it is fun to chase her around the house to scare her, which is very counterproductive.

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2 minutes ago, Neenah said:

We are trying something similar to your suggestion but I don't know if it is really working since we had a huge cat fight last night. But I do think that cat 1 might be coming around a bit. She has been seen venturing out of her hiding spot few times in the past week, which is a huge improvement from her disappearing act from before. Though cat 2 seems to have finally realised that cat 1 is afraid of her so she decided that it is fun to chase her around the house to scare her, which is very counterproductive.

 

We had to kind of... leave them alone to figure out their dynamics a little, too. Like, catdog has her territory where no other dog is supposed to come and they sorted that out between themselves. I don't get in the middle of regular snarling standoffs anymore, only when it escalates to a fight. They've learnt that when I pick up a pillow, it's time to quit fighting no matter how intense it is. BUT one big fight doesn't really mean a big setback, it's bound to happen when they set boundaries for each other. At least it means they're now beginning to consider the concept of having boundaries in the same space. 

 

My friend who does a lot of cat rescues says if they really don't listen, a spray bottle of cold water will cool them down if you squirt them when they begin to show signs of aggression. Maybe like when cat 2 wants to chase cat 1 and cat 1 is scared, not playing. (One of her cats has a habit of attacking another every time it goes to the litter box so the spray bottle has helped sort that out.)

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3 hours ago, WinForPooh said:

 

We had to kind of... leave them alone to figure out their dynamics a little, too. Like, catdog has her territory where no other dog is supposed to come and they sorted that out between themselves. I don't get in the middle of regular snarling standoffs anymore, only when it escalates to a fight. They've learnt that when I pick up a pillow, it's time to quit fighting no matter how intense it is. BUT one big fight doesn't really mean a big setback, it's bound to happen when they set boundaries for each other. At least it means they're now beginning to consider the concept of having boundaries in the same space. 

 

My friend who does a lot of cat rescues says if they really don't listen, a spray bottle of cold water will cool them down if you squirt them when they begin to show signs of aggression. Maybe like when cat 2 wants to chase cat 1 and cat 1 is scared, not playing. (One of her cats has a habit of attacking another every time it goes to the litter box so the spray bottle has helped sort that out.)

The water idea might work... I just don't know what to do if she decides to unleash her most lethal weapon, the "I am very cute and harmless, why are you being mean to me" look. It always gets me :biggrin:

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7 hours ago, Neenah said:

The water idea might work... I just don't know what to do if she decides to unleash her most lethal weapon, the "I am very cute and harmless, why are you being mean to me" look. It always gets me :biggrin:

 

Oh yeah, the big eyes and the 'but I'm just a wee kitten who loves you' look, it's a real killer.

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