22 hours ago, LAY said:

I still have nightmares thinking about GPF 2019 which was held at Torino, Italy. Yuzu popped his 4S at SP and he was all alone at Kiss and Cry...I wanna cry for him. Ghislain got delay because he lost his passport and was not there to comfort Yuzu. Fanyus were all in chaos😩 Don't know what happen to Brian though (kind of long story). Finally, Ghislain showed up next day when Yuzu's was attempting 4A (can't remember how many attempts he did?) during morning practice😱 he was not ready for 4A at that time and many people thought he just wanted to vent out his frustrations (or he wanted to attempt 4A because Olympic figure skating was once held at Torino in 2006...I don't know I could be wrong).We were so worried he's gonna injured himself. His free skate was on his birthday - 7th Dec 2019 when he turned 25. He performed better with  beautiful quad lutz and quad loop and it's his first time in his skating career, he did 5 quads in a single programme. He was so exhausted at the end of his origin 2.0 performance ....Pooh San literally everywhere and the pooh rain scene was so spectacular 🥰 Sadly to say, this was the last time that we saw this magnificent pooh rain🥹

I read a lot about different competitions on this forum and other sources I could find (I read and watched everything I could find about Yuzu in my early fanyu days) and I don’t know how you could survive 2019 GFP. I would have been devastated and would have cried for weeks (like I did during Beijing Olympics). Can’t even imagine how it was for Yuzu Some say he’s strong, but he’s also extremely sensitive and I can imagine injustice did hurt him a lot. 

I don't think I could have been alive in my 20s. After graduating from high school, my chronic depression worsened and I locked myself at home. And I met Yuzu at the Beijing Olympics. When I want to die, Yuz saves me again and again. Now I am a person who can go abroad alone to meet Yuzuru.

If it was not for Yuzu,

 

I would never had bought four books (aoi honoo I-IV) in Japanese, a language I cannot read at all, but using translation apps to comprehend the life he lived so far. 

 

I would never had traveled to Japan for a three days trip only to see his ice show (Re-pray) and made new friends from all over the world 

If it wasn't for Yuzu, I wouldn't be wondering how to sign up for a tv asahi ID...