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Friday, August 04, 2017

THE DAILY SPREAD EAGLE

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Program-type eruption threatens Planet Hanyu

By Hydroblade

Mt. Irene, Planet Hanyu's most active and iconic volcano has been rumbling lately and the planet's inhabitants are also noticing.

The area near Mt. Irene has been experiencing increased gold dust emissions since last week. Although this is expected as the beginning of the season approaches,  an increase in volcano activity has been detected over the last three days. A small crack has appeared near the top of the volcano, and combined with the frequent tweeting earthquakes has led scientists currently surveying Mt. Irene to declare that an eruption is imminent. 

This volcano is the only known active volcano that spews beautiful glittery molten gold, and instead of ash emissions fine gold dust is expelled from the crater. Small puffs of a substance akin to smelling salts are also generated by the volcano, which makes it easier to survive the unpredictable eruptions of Mt. Irene. 

A big surge of activity was detected in 2004, with two big eruptions happening in February and March. This year, it experienced a rather spectacular eruption in April 1st which was welcomed with a big celebration on the Planet. This April eruption provided great relief to all citizens, after  the looming eruption threats of 2015 and 2016. The golden lava is an essential part of the life in the planet, as it's greatly favoured by King Hanyu. 

 

However, not all eruptions are met with such joy and celebration. Earlier this summer, the Great Chopin Eruption caused some distress among the population. The pattern of the tweeting earthquakes and the noise of the crickets living near the volcano, tiny insects which produce "shuu" and "paa" sounds and have a close link with the eruptions, has made impossible to determine whether the eruption will be a joyous or a distressing one. The only things that the scientists can confirm is that the eruption can happen any time over the next two weeks and that it is definitely a Program-type eruption. 

Planet Hanyu's population is advised to keep calm and prepare their hearts for this eruption. The Planet Hanyu Geological Institute released some tips to deal with this incoming event:

  • Keep your BV calculators fully charged: In an event of an eruption of the Program Type, BV calculators are essential tools to predict the possible outcomes of the season. Not everyone owns one, so those who do please be ready to provide your calculations to the general population.
  • Keep monitoring the news: Sometimes an approximation of the full program can be put together thanks to snippets shown in the different programs.
  • Be ready to help those who might require emotional support: An eruption of the Program Type can be a very emotional event. Please help those who might need guidance or reassurance.

Remember that Program-type eruptions aren't isolated events. They repeat through the season and often change through the Grand Prix Events.  Keep your hearts ready and your expectations for a 4Lz sighting moderate. 

 

it is friday, i am sleep deprived and should probably be taken away from the computer

 

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If he really goes for a Genji based program, we really need to write a version of Yuzuru no Monogatari, and instead of going after various ladies (and men) like Genji,  the story will focus on his methods to acquire various poohs....

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27 minutes ago, Yuazz said:

The actual announcement hasn't been released yet you guys already exploded .. :rofl::rofl:

 

I also excited and nervous at the same time. Help. I hope I survive this :13877886:

Bring us seimei 2.0 or whatever. I'm ready :tumblr_inline_n18qr5AMus1qid2nw:

 

 

I think my strategy has to be: "SEIMEI, I LOVE SEIMEI, CANT WAIT TO SEE IT SKATED 300 MORE TIMES..." repeated to myself continuously all weekend.

Then if he HAPPENS to choose some other music, I can be surprised and delighted (I'm sure it will be wonderful) :bow:

I do love SeiMei but I'm still hoping for something new. And if he does give us SeiMei 2.0 he DAMN WELL BETTER not be r***ng this year!!!

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